[Editor’s note]
Thirteen years ago today, when most people heard the news of Leslie Cheung’s death from friends and colleagues, they thought it was just a joke on April Fool’s Day, until it was confirmed on TV news.
April 1st is supposed to be an ordinary April Fool’s Day, but it is special because of Leslie Cheung.
The Paper was authorized to extract the chapter recording his last day from Leslie Cheung’s latest biography Nian Rong in memory of this respected singer and star.
April 1st.
This day is supposed to be an ordinary day, and at most it is an ordinary April Fool’s Day.
Hong Kong, like most Asian regions, April Fool’s Day has never been a holiday.
It was not until April Fool’s Day in 2003 that many people first felt that April Fool’s Day was both playful and cruel.
From the end of 20th century to the beginning of 21st century, Leslie Cheung has done a lot in just a few years. But not many people know what kind of life he is living when he doesn’t appear in albums, movies, TV, newspapers and magazines. Everyone only knows that his public appearances are getting less and less.
He said that he had acid reflux, which affected his throat and vocal cords.
Brigitte Lin said that she watched a movie with him, only to find that his arm around her hand kept shaking.
Anita Mui said that she heard that he was very unhappy, and tried every means to contact him, making phone calls and writing cards, but never found him.
Chen Shufen said that he suffered physically and mentally. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t sleep, and he was sweating. When his illness broke out, all his muscles ached as if he were going to tear his flesh apart.
Tang Hede said that he has been very cooperative and has been seeing doctors regularly.
then what
In November 2002, he committed suicide, but it didn’t work.
He, who people can’t see, has been tortured by the disease.
At about 10 o’clock in the morning, Alfred Mok, an interior designer, received a phone call, which was from Leslie Cheung.
"Let’s have lunch together!" Leslie Cheung said.
Alfred Mok is the designer of Leslie Cheung’s apartment, and they have a close personal friendship.
However, two days ago, the horse named by Alfred Mok’s adopted son won the championship in the race, and the horse’s name was named by Leslie Cheung, so Alfred Mok made a phone call to give Leslie Cheung good news, but he didn’t answer the phone at that time.
"I called you and didn’t listen. How did you know I was free today!" Alfred Mok deliberately said such a thing to tease Leslie Cheung, but from the other party’s response, he felt that Leslie Cheung really wanted to meet himself, and then he put away his joke: "Silly boy, I will definitely have lunch with you."
Two people made an appointment to meet at Fusion Restaurant in Causeway Bay at one o’clock, which was chosen because it was close to Alfred Mok’s office.
At 1pm, Alfred Mok arrived at Fusion Restaurant as scheduled. There, he saw Leslie Cheung wearing a dark gray T-shirt and a light gray suit jacket, wearing a mask and sitting quietly.
No sooner had Alfred Mok sat down than Leslie Cheung said to him, "Someone is coughing next door. Why don’t you wear a mask?"
Mask, suddenly became a human amulet.
In the spring of 2003, atypical pneumonia ("SARS", commonly known as "SARS" in Hong Kong) ravaged the whole world, and almost no place was spared. Although it was affected to different degrees, the panic it caused was definitely a rare global expansion in modern times. Even though modern medical care is far better than that in ancient times, in the early days of SARS, human beings actually seemed helpless. Infectious diseases that can’t be cured by the medical profession have suddenly made the whole society a frightened bird.
They chatted and ordered another meal. Leslie Cheung ordered spaghetti, and his appetite seemed to be good.
In the restaurant, when someone recognized him, he smiled at people and everything was as usual.
However, in Alfred Mok’s eyes, he looked so uneasy that his hands kept shaking.
It takes three hours for two people to talk in the restaurant.
Leslie Cheung told Alfred Mok that after he called him, he drove the Porsche aimlessly. He said that he felt very hard that morning and just wanted to drive fast. It was best to crash like this until he remembered that he had an appointment.
"Stupid, don’t say that." Alfred Mok reacted immediately, and then opened the topic.
Leslie Cheung asked Alfred Mok’s ID number again and copied it down. Six months ago, he had asked the same question and confirmed it again that day. Alfred Mok learned afterwards that Leslie Cheung was going to leave a small gift for himself in his will.
In a small talk in the past, Leslie Cheung once asked Alfred Mok, "If you are seriously ill and have no medical doctor, how will you solve it?"
Hearing this topic, Alfred Mok felt awkward at that time, and then responded: "I will take sleeping pills. If people find it, they will be saved."
"You are wrong," Leslie Cheung said bluntly. "To die, the most direct thing is to jump off a building."
Alfred Mok immediately shook his head and said, "You and I are so’ greedy for beauty’ (love beauty), how can we do such a thing? It’s like an egg fell to the ground, and if we accidentally hit someone else … We are greedy and beautiful, but it’s better to sleep in the bed, at least someone will save us, and we will jump down and become a’ slap’ (meaning a piece of flesh and blood). What should we do? "
After this conversation, Alfred Mok always felt scared and uneasy, so he often kept in touch with Leslie Cheung. When eating this lunch, Alfred Mok felt that Leslie Cheung was depressed, so he offered to accompany him to the United States to see a doctor, and said that no one would know about going to the United States anyway.
"Some people also told me to go to Sichuan to absorb aura. Now it is the peak period of SARS, and I can’t go anywhere." Leslie Cheung replied.
After lunch, Leslie Cheung insisted on sending Alfred Mok back to the company. Alfred Mok thought it was good to go for a ride, so he got in his car. Even if he pushed open the door or opened the car door, Leslie Cheung was very careful and didn’t touch it with his hands. Obviously, he was afraid of SARS, and he also seemed to cherish his health and life.
"You hurry back and change clothes. You have an appointment to play ball." Alfred Mok knew that he was used to asking someone to play badminton every Tuesday, so he reminded Leslie Cheung before getting off the bus.
Leslie Cheung actually said to him, "You don’t have to call me again."
"I just saw you. There is no need to call you. Let’s talk about it tomorrow." Alfred Mok now then answer like this.
Go to the office building in front of the elevator, Alfred Mok suddenly felt a heart-pounding.
"You don’t have to call me again." That sentence, he heard Leslie Cheung said before.
Later, Leslie Cheung told him: "The window of that hotel could not be opened."
Alfred Mok, who was in a panic, immediately called Zhang Lvping, the elder sister of Leslie Cheung, hoping that she could get in touch with him.
At about 6 o’clock, Look Ping Cheung called back to Alfred Mok: "Don’t worry, I found him. He is in Central, shopping in the window, or buying some clothes in summer." Look Ping Cheung wanted to ask his brother out for coffee, but he said no, because he had already made an appointment to meet Chen Shufen.
Alfred Mok was a little relieved at that time, and didn’t worry about Leslie Cheung’s words any more.
Shortly after leaving Alfred Mok, Leslie Cheung’s phone number was dialed.
"Hello, Mr. Tang?" Chen Shufen dialed Leslie Cheung’s phone number, but Tang Hede answered the phone on the other end. "Where’s Leslie?"
"He said to go out for a walk. I asked him to play badminton at 7 o’clock in the evening. " The other party replied.
"Well … do you know where he went?" Chen Shufen asked again.
"He said he was having tea with friends in Central."
"Well, I’ll give him a call and I’ll contact you later." Then, Chen Shufen hung up.
Chen Shufen’s office is in Wan Chai, only two subway stations away from Central, which is quite close. She thought about it and decided to call Leslie Cheung first.
The phone was connected quickly, but it was not Leslie Cheung himself who answered it, but a cold message box. Chen Shufen thought at that time, maybe he was talking about something important with someone.
"Leslie, call me later." Chen Shufen left this message after the recording signal sounded.
April 1st, compared with other days, is no different, the same Tuesday, the same 24 hours, the same day and night … However, this day suddenly has a subtle difference. Outside the window, it is drizzling, quietly covering the city with a layer of gray gauze, which is thin and light, making people feel less energetic and more sad just looking at it.
However, when this day is over, a new day will come. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Suddenly, Chen Shufen’s phone rang. She answered the phone, but to her surprise, Leslie Cheung called her so soon.
Leslie, where are you? Chen Shufen asked him first.
"I’m in Central." Leslie Cheung calmly replied, this is an answer that Chen Shufen expected.
"What are you doing in Central?"
"Drinking tea."
"Well, who are you having tea with?" Chen Shufen asked again.
"No, just myself." Leslie Cheung’s response this time was not expected by Chen Shufen.
She smiled and complained, "Why don’t you call me when you drink tea alone?"? I am in Wan Chai, let me come to you. "
"No, I have to go." Leslie Cheung quietly declined.
Without thinking much, Chen Shufen asked again, "Where are you going?"
"Go Shopping."
"Can I go Shopping with you?" Chen Shufen offered.
This time, Leslie Cheung didn’t give up, and directly agreed to Chen Shufen’s suggestion. "Well, yes."
Chen Shufen looked at the time. He has an appointment with Tang Hede to play ball at 7 o’clock, and now he doesn’t have much time to go shopping. In a hurry, she will put the phone down to find him.
At that time, a word came from the other side of the microphone, which made Chen Shufen stop putting the phone down.
"I want to take this opportunity to have a good look at Hong Kong." Leslie Cheung’s voice said.
This sentence, like a drop of concentrated sulfuric acid, permeates silently and colorless, and then bores a small hole on the pillar as a support point.
"What do you want to see Hong Kong for?" Chen Shufen began to hear that something was wrong with him.
Leslie Cheung didn’t answer Chen Shufen’s question. The short silence didn’t make the pillar collapse, but the corroded hole became deeper and deeper. Even if he didn’t pay attention, it still came into view.
"What do you want to go? If you haven’t left yet, I’ll come to see you. " Chen Shufen said anxiously.
"Good, then come here." Leslie Cheung readily agreed, and others are in Mandarin Oriental Hotel.
The hole still exists, and we can’t turn a blind eye to it, but the pillar still stands. Maybe, this is just a harmless gap. As long as you repair it carefully, there will be no danger in the future.
However, it is easy for people to have the illusion that the more familiar things are, the less they will change. Who will know that a harmless little difference may be behind a thousand cracks that cannot be repaired? No one knows exactly when the first crack began to appear, let alone why it will form.
When people see the hole, perhaps, it is too late.
"Mandarin Hotel, Central, please." Chen Shufen got into a taxi.
The driver didn’t recognize her as the agent of the emperor’s superstar, and she wouldn’t be aware of her anxiety at the moment.
The red taxi is moving forward slowly. There are still raindrops floating outside. They gently hit the car body, splashing into a little bit of powder, then merging on the ground and slowly flowing into the underground waterway.
The lost rain disappeared silently towards the place where no one paid attention.
Somewhere, on a calm lake, there was a ripple for it.
There are no raging waves, and there are no raging storms.
Chen Shufen arrived at the front hall of the hotel. She looked around and didn’t see Leslie Cheung. So, she went to the coffee shop where they often get together to chat.
"Miss, how many people?" An enter a door, the waiter came forward to ask Chen Shufen.
"I’m looking for Leslie. Is he there?"
"Mr. Zhang?" The waiter was a little confused. "I don’t think I saw him here."
"He’s not here? No, we have an appointment. He must be here. I’ll go in and find him. "
Tap, tap, tap. Short footsteps echoed in the coffee shop, but it was a pity that it couldn’t find the object it was looking for, just like stepping into a familiar but unfamiliar maze. It turned around in the shop, stopped here, and looked there again. Every road had passed, but it was nowhere to be found.
Where the hell is he? Chen Shufen looked around anxiously, but no matter what, Leslie Cheung was still not in the coffee shop.
Did he just leave? Or is he not here at all?
Chen Shufen grabbed the phone and hurriedly pressed Leslie Cheung’s number. The phone was connected, and when Leslie Cheung’s voice rang from her mobile phone, she was relieved.
"Leslie, I have arrived. Where are you? "
"I just went out. You have a cup of tea over there and wait for a while. I’ll be back soon."
Leslie Cheung simply explained these words and then hung up. His voice sounds so calm, almost the same as usual, even calmer-as if it were a breeze blowing across the lake, gentle and chilly.
But on the lake with low breeze, it is unusually calm.
It’s like being still, not moving.
Chen Shufen waited and waited in the coffee shop, but Leslie Cheung never came back, and his heart became more anxious. The voices in the coffee shop seem to have disappeared, but they still seem to exist, but they can’t reach Chen Shufen’s ears. What are those voices saying? Are you telling a harmless April Fool’s joke? Or are you talking about SARS, which has become more and more serious in recent days?
No matter in the street or in the shop, people around are wearing masks. Everyone can’t see each other clearly. Whether the other person is laughing, crying or angry, no one can see clearly at all. Masks have become masks one after another, replacing people’s real faces and becoming the symbol of this city. Every day, every minute, every second, people are afraid to show their faces, not only afraid of viruses floating around, but also afraid of contact with others.
March 2003 may be the turning point of Hong Kong’s change. The gap between people has become thicker because of a thin mask. All health advice is to try to separate yourself from others, even the whole world. Medicine is prosperous, but people’s hearts are difficult to treat.
After waiting for 40 minutes, Chen Shufen’s cell phone finally rang, and she quickly took it.
"You wait for me at the entrance of the hotel in five minutes, at the main entrance, and then I will come." Thankfully, she finally heard Leslie Cheung’s voice.
Chen Shufen looked at the time. It was almost 6: 30, and there was only half an hour left until 7: 00, so she didn’t think much, and immediately checked out and left the coffee shop.
The weather in April is not cold, but it is raining slightly, which is different from the freezing biting chill. This coldness will only slowly sip the warmth of the human body.
Leslie Cheung did not appear.
One second, two seconds, three seconds, time goes forward with tired steps, so slow that almost no one notices it, but it does move, and even if it is slow, people’s hurried steps never catch up with it.
Five minutes have passed.
Leslie Cheung still didn’t show up.
Time goes on. One minute, how ridiculous it turned out. Same pace, same slip away. Time, which never stops and never goes backwards, always keeps its duty like this …
At 6: 41 in the evening.
"Bang!"
A loud bang exploded in the ear, and time almost stopped. At least, at this moment, almost all the people present have the illusion that time has suddenly stopped.
Chen Shufen looked in the direction of the sound in consternation, only to see a black shadow lying on the ground, and other guardrails at the entrance of the hotel were smashed.
Take a closer look, it’s a person.
Next to that man, there is a bus.
"Not good!" Chen Shufen hurriedly ran into the hotel and called out the waiter: "There was a traffic accident, and someone was injured! Right outside! Call an ambulance quickly! "
Chen Shufen hurriedly ran out again. Leslie Cheung will come to the door of the hotel at any moment, and Chen Shufen knows clearly that even if he was calm just now, he is suffering from depression now, and it is inevitable that he will be stimulated if he sees that scene, so she decides to run quickly to the other side and stop Leslie Cheung’s car.
However, after a few steps, Chen Shufen dismissed the idea. Maybe Leslie Cheung hasn’t arrived yet? Maybe he’s stuck in traffic? Chen Shufen sincerely hopes that Leslie Cheung hasn’t arrived yet, so that she can stop his car at the street first, so that he won’t pass the hotel gate.
So Chen Shufen picked up the phone and called Leslie Cheung.
But this time, the phone was not connected.
Nian Rong, written by Han Qiao/,Modern Publishing House, December 2015.
